UPDATE-O!

Hehe the following day after my previous blog, I was like Hmmmmm I have something cool to tell the blogging community, then....... I forgot ><.....

AND! You would think that I remembered now that thus this blog, but no... I forgot completely....

Okay lets seeeeeee what has happened so far? ehhhh heh heh heh

OH! I bought my firts liquid eyeliner yesterday. I was standing there debating with myself, "Do I want it?" "Like really WANT it?" then read label "LIMITED EDITION" "AHHHH MUST BUY!!!!" hehe so I tried it on today... and WHOA! I realise that I have steady hands, pretty G! hehe it glides on so easy! I feel like its less effort to use it than with pencil eyeliners... haha because you outline then colour in! hehe yay a colouring book on ya face!

FINISHED T3H EXAMS!!!! BOOOYAHHHH MUAHAHAHA

OMGEEEE MY CAMERA CAMEE!!! GAHHHHHHH so excited 8 migepixel OLYMPUS!! yussss expect heaps of photos!!! hehe I'm gonnna pick it up today tho... hehe so haven't arrived arrived. but got the all go! so I shall GOOOoooOOOO!! hehe

BYES!!

DARKPATHOS

(Not really reading this, watching it more like... but they dont have it under DVDs )

Salutations...

You know it takes me a while on deciding how to start a blog? hehe its like hmmm do i feel like "hello"? "hi"? "greetings"? It's just like something so simple... but it IRKS me! it always does... haha

Anywho... welcome stalker number... 3! hehe, Im not sure if EDWARD WONGSO is reading this... may have gotten bored as with all other previous stalkers.. heh... just wanted to make a shout out... like i promised i would about 3 weeks ago? Oh yes. Three weeks without posting, that would mean hes already bored.. no? hehe so a pointless shout out... hmmm .

My commitment to Xanga has dwindled quite a bit.. haha well there never was a commitment since like 2 years ago? hehe... If only i still had it... its UBER amusing to read previous blogs... haha oh! This brings me to todays topic! C.B.B! hehe, current most common word in my vocab is "CBF" also known as Can't Be F**ked but then this implies that im swearing... and Im not at that total CBF state... u know? that I want swearing in my vocab, so how about... C.B.B? I dunno if people use that.. cant be bothered. But I should start using that... hehe

So anywho... I went to Armageddon on Sunday! ^^ Photos may be provided in the near future... or NEVER (proven with my ball photos, just CBB) HEAPS OF FREEBIES!! YAY!! ^^ excited much? Yes Yes!

THat brings me to another point!!! SORRY GIZZY!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR MONDAY!!! WOOOT WOOOT WOOT 17th! WHOA!! OLDIE!! hehe sadly this age does not come with priviledges, soooo one more year to go tho... then alcohol, fireworks and many things are on sale for you ^^ <3 mucho luvoooo

Peace Out?

Darkpathos

Hello.

Again a whole year later... I update.. how long has it been exactly? Sunday Aug 19, 17. It has been OVER a year. Whoa. I remembered when I couldn't go thru the day without posting a blog. What happened to that me? Don't you ever wonder what happened to your beloved self? Why life is so imperfect now? Ive seen a drastic change in myself. But today, im not going to talk about change. It seems futile because how can one truly explain the whole process of change? It sounds simple, but nothing ever is.

Last night, i had a sleepover at a friends place. And while i was in bed, I planned what i wanted to say in this blog, I seemed smart and perfect and just how i felt. But now, things seems different, the feeling I had from last night was gone. Linkin Park gets this feeling right with one word, "Numb". I just feel numb, i know what i went through its nothing compared to others.. in fact it does seem insignificant compared to other events in my life too but it happened, and so im not going to be one to ignore it. But how do I fight a "feeling"?

You guys dont even know what happened. Oh well.. summing it up, i liked a jackass knowing full well that he was a jackass and with all jackasses, they can have a sensitive side if they show it... and thats the side i liked, it wayyy over-powered the jackassiness, because to put it plain and simple, ALL GUYS ARE JACKASSES! (If u've learnt nothing else, just remember that). Dont get me wrong there are some nice guys out there but they do have their ass moment. Its the same with the statement ALL GIRLS ARE BITCHES. Its all determined by degree of bitchiness or jackassiness... OH i just got off-topic, anyways, i was moving on already but this other jackass that i thought i could trust started pressuring the first jackass with that fact that i like him. Long story short, this guy rejects me. And the thing is, it never needed to be done right? I was already moving on... why press the guy? why do I have to go through this humiliation? Again... this isnt the message of the blog.

The message is.. well to tell u the truth, there isnt one. I forgot what it was. I just needed to let it all out. OH actually, this isnt the message but we shall roll with it anyways:

NO ONE CAN BE TRUSTED. If you have friends, they will betray you, kick you while you're down and push for the lead. Right? I'm not going to be a hypocrit and say; "Im perfect, the BESTEST friend you can ever get" because, thats BULLSHIT. Im not, Ive probably backstab some people before... i cant remember. Gah, i just got distracted and completely forgot what i was going to say. Hmmm... I've never had a friend that i fully trusted, the ones i gave more trust to just lives up to their expection and prove to be dissapointments. This blog sounds "emo" i know.. but sometimes its how I feel and I cant change that. Its always just a "feeling". Everything real comes down to it, which is stupid no? I decided i like questions.. They are good. You put onto to paper (or in this case, the internet) what you've been thinking, it officialises it. Although you dont always get an asnwer. Its comforting. It is to me anyways. Man...

So summing up:

1. All guys are jackasses
2. All girls are bitches
3. No one can be trusted
4. No one will ever read this blog.

Sionara. Darkpathos.

[EDIT]

I know its only been an hour... but i was talking to the jackass and it worries me. He always says "oh i cant imagine u being serious" etc etc. but today... I wasnt in the mood to be all "chipper", so i was being serious. Of course this all occured on MSN. I was saying what i thought and all with full sincerity. Its not a side i show to people. I dont enjoy being serious, it brings me into this "depressed" state. Where most of what i say is the "real" me. He kept trying to change the subject, he was saying i was scaring him. Why ask when you don't want to hear it? I think... thats why I dont show this side of me... he said "now i just wish i should've never attempt to see this side of you"... And thats what it is. Comes back to what i said, no one can be trusted. If you leave yourself exposed, people are bound to hit u there. And it has, im myself.. and no one will understand me, the cliche of being "misunderstood"...

Those exact words. It hurts. You're left vulnerable. You have no one to turn to. No one can ever see the real you. Its too scary. This isnt the first time tho. People who saw this side of me has said.. its too scary. Its soo blah blah blah. And i guess it only hit home now, because... i dont show this side to people.. because of the reaction they give me. No one understands, no one will understand...